Rose Styron

How was it different in his second depressive episode?
He had been on the lip of a depression for a while. In the spring, he gave excellent speeches and appearances, which were really better than anything he had done in his life. He was writing at the top of his form. But when he came home and didn't have to perform, it would be a very low time for him. I recognized an up and down pattern and it bothered me a lot. It also bothered him.

After he had a bad allergic reaction to one medication, he wanted to try a different treatment. So, he went to the hospital. But, the treatment itself was initially disastrous. It made him go further and further down hill, not only mentally, but also diminishing the physical health he once had. I watched him become depleted, tentative, and finally lose 50 pounds. He refused to eat and had all kinds of psychoses, which changed day by day. The psychoses had a little germ in reality, but then became 99% fantasy. Physically and mentally, he deteriorated at such an alarming rate that it didn't look like he was going to recover.

What has helped you cope with your husband's depression?
My family. I have four wonderful children and an extended family of in-laws, grand children, and a marvelous cadre of friends. I am able to talk and share things with three generations of kin and pals. They have been so wonderful: they make sure that I get away, to get my athletics and travel in. Bill has recovered in this miraculous way that none of the doctors or our close acquaintances and family ever thought he would. So we have renewed faith in the body, the mind, and the world around us.

How hard is it to be the caregiver, and still focus on your career and family?
In this last year, I couldn't focus on anything else. I never wrote a poem. If I went to a meeting, I couldn't focus and certainly couldn't run a meeting. I didn't do any of things I like to do, for or with my children or friends, unless they came and grabbed me. There was only one focus. I think you can't pay attention to other things as much as you want to do. Your mind isn't there. Since doctors are so busy and specialized, I found that I was the one who had to make the connections. I had to tell one doctor what the other doctor prescribed, or what Bill did or did not do an hour ago or a day ago that didn't get recorded or considered. Once Bill miraculously recovered, I went overboard and pursued two careers and traveled too extensively.